Is it bad that i miss being 13?

I feel like i really missed out on being a teenager.I still haven't been experienced pretty much anything and it seems like the last time i had real friends was when i was 13 and im 19 now.I also feel depressed that i messed everything up when i was 13.I wrote bomb at school with a certain date when i was in the 7th grade.I got expelled for what i did and some other things like acting out and getting in trouble with teachers.I don't know why i acted out but i guess it might have been out of attention and wanting to be popular because it was only my second year in that town and i was still new.My life has been quite hard and depressing after getting expelled I lost all of my friends at my school mostly because i never saw them anymore and most of them were not real friends.I have seen some people from that school a couple of years around when i moved back(I don't live there anymore)But im not friends with them or anyone really right now.After being expelled i started going to a sped school which only had about 30 kids and was kids from random far towns south shore Machusetts.I had friends there and most people were nice.There was one girl who i think felt bad for me so she brought me along to hang out with her and other people from the school on the weekend.It has always been hard for me to make friends since leaving middle school i had developed really bad social anxiety.I couldn't really talk to anyone especially girls sadly.During this whole time i had been moving around frequently because my family being homeless.Constant moving and school switching made it very difficult for me to maintain friendships or keep in contact.There was a long period of time where i didn't have any friends and i didn't have a computer to keep in touch with people.After moving again i switched back to a regular high school.The first year was very hard i went from being with 8 students to a clroom to sometimes 30 students.I still had social anxiety and it was hard to make friends.I had 3 good friends there two of them i don't talk to anymore and one of them i still smoke with sometimes but i have never considered him a best friend since he has been a douche alot since i met him.I haven't had a girlfriend since i was 13 as well and now being 19 now i feel really lonely i really want a a relationship or at least just a girl to be best friends with.I dropped out my second year in high school mostly because it depressed me just to go.I knew i didn't really have any friends there and i was failing cles.I also couldn't bare to go to some cles because of my anxiety.After i dropped out i spent almost two years not do anything but playing modern warfare 2 and call of duty world at war on xbox live.I think i was honestly addicted to it.It made me forget about not having friends or a girlfriend though i still feel very lonely sometimes i just tried to distract myself.I still haven't gotten my GED yet and i work at burger king.I don't play xbox anymore as well.I have worked there for 10 months.I socialize with people there and my anxiety has gotten alot better but i haven't made any friends there.These days i usually just smoke weed to distract my self from boredom,depression, loneliness,or whatever it might be.Music is a bigger part of my life though.After going on Facebook just to look up old people that I haven't talked to or seen in ages I became depressed and i started to cry a bit.Because i feel everything is messed up now and It has been for 6 years.And I don't know when it will get better.And I kept thinking about how bad i wish i could just start over.I remembered walking around the hallway of my middle school when it was my first or second day and i was going to a cl to the first time.And all i could think about was just wanting to start over right there if i could just go back in time.But I cant its impossible and it gives me a feeling of hopelessness and it makes me feel like dying.If anyone has any thoughts or advice i would really appreciate if you could answer.